O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
