Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.

(618): View more from Illinois

Disappointment?

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy

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(713): View more from Texas

I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"

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(314): View more from Missouri

I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.

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(410): View more from Maryland

So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.

(443): View more from Maryland

YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus

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(613): View more from Ontario

All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head

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(503): View more from Oregon

Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something

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(702): View more from Nevada

Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?

(725): View more from

Is there a big difference?

(702): View more from Nevada

It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker

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