I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Let's get the cat blown out
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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