So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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