just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
