Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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