I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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