i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize