glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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