you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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