weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
