the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize