Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
God, I missed his penis.
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