just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
