Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize