Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize