we have pet lesbian snakes
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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