Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
