How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
