The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
