3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
