We're facebook friends in real life
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
