I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
