Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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