How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize