Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
