I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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