I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
