I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
