Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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