Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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