Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
