I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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