I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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