community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
