would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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