is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im six kinds of drunk right now
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
