Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
