i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
