Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize