As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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