You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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