she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
