what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So. Much. Porn.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
