Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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