I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
