Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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