Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"

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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm on page 4.

(678): View more from Georgia

Im on beer infinity

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(443): View more from Maryland

Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.

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(802): View more from Vermont

every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.

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(443): View more from Maryland

There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!

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(615): View more from Tennessee

She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.

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