so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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