Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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