you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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