so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
