is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
