so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
