i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize