where am i from again
it's not cheating when I paid for it
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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