i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
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It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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