Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her

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  (405): Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her http://tfl.nu/rds9
  Replies (20) Good night (1113) Bad night (1979)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.

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  (908): My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size. http://tfl.nu/6vyk
  Replies (23) Good night (950) Bad night (4224)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.

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  (978): I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work. http://tfl.nu/5w8x
  Replies (16) Good night (2310) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  then i met college

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  (781): when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton (781): then i met college http://tfl.nu/kd7x
  Replies (17) Good night (6354) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.

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  (561): It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out. http://tfl.nu/g5y4
  Replies (14) Good night (735) Bad night (6353)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.

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  (262): I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day. http://tfl.nu/uzwr
  Replies (15) Good night (5226) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  2.5

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  (740): How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement? (1-740): 2.5 http://tfl.nu/yjjp
  Replies (7) Good night (4541) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"

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  (469): I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?" http://tfl.nu/ut0z
  Replies (8) Good night (1282) Bad night (3735)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.

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  (336): Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car. http://tfl.nu/8ezv
  Replies (11) Good night (1950) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure

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  (267): dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure http://tfl.nu/1m9t
  Replies (23) Good night (3777) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it

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  (401): If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it http://tfl.nu/cn0p
  Replies (3) Good night (1131) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.

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  (832): I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway. http://tfl.nu/6mtf
  Replies (2) Good night (436) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.

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  (860): Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building. http://tfl.nu/u27k
  Replies (1) Good night (433) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?

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  (614): Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text? http://tfl.nu/s4pf
  Replies (3) Good night (529) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?

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  (267): do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate? http://tfl.nu/3j8j
  Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (303)

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