well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
These Teachers Need To Be Fired
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me