She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.