It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The struggles of a small town man whore
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.