sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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