You really coming over, don't trick.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
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He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.