I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
