My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
