For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
she pinky promised me she was 18
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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