im drinking this country out of the recession.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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