She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You left your underwear on the fireplace
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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