is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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