The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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