when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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